Evanescent thoughts

There are so many times I go to bed thinking that the next morning, everything would be clearer and I’d understand better. But really, perhaps all that happens is that the next morning, there are things to do. Things to do that keep these thoughts at bay, and soon these thoughts fade and disappear in a cloud of smoky mist.

[Insert fitting onomatopoeia]

Recently, I’ve developed this fear of going to sleep of leaving my book for too long. It’s just too scary. I keep thinking that if I go to sleep I’ll wake up and forget everything I’ve studied. This is not supposed to happen so soon! Maybe I need to rethink my studying style.

Because thoughts and words sometimes fail me.

They do, but some others seem to have no such problem.

http://chronicle.com/article/Confessions-of-a-Middlebrow/48644

I really liked this article. Unlike many of those I read off aldaily, I wasn’t left feeling cheated of my time. The title was interesting and so was the subtitle, but so was the rest of the article. I particularly liked how it ended.

I shall reserve my comment regarding that article to another time, but for those amongst us who have the time… (it takes me far too long to write something proper about it) it’s a good read.

When friends leave…

I thought I was the only one, worried that I would forget my friends who were leaving and going to different places, wondering what it would be like apart from the friends I had been with for such a long time. I was wrong I suppose, like I often am. I’ve come to discover how this is actually a central theme among the graduating students. There was even a song written about this that a friend once shared with me – Vitamin C’s Graduation. I’m afraid I haven’t read enough poetry to have come across one written about this phenomena and thus this song would have to suffice.

When a friend leaves, a close friend, a friend you’ve been with for a while, there are simply too many emotions to consider. We are happy for them, glad that they will be going beyond the boundaries of sunny Singapore to explore the world beyond. Yet we are saddened because we know we wouldn’t be seeing them for such a long while, we wouldn’t be meeting them to enjoy a good cup of coffee and we wouldn’t be hearing their laughter. It is truly difficult to decide what to feel. After thinking it through, it seems the logical conclusion is simply that the only way things could stay the same would be for all of us to go back in time and stay in school. Haha If only that was feasible.

One of the first times I faced such a situation was in the year 2006, in secondary four. We were all leaving the class of 4.9, a class full of friends and familiar faces, some who go as far back as primary four. I still remember the words our chinese teacher left for us.

别离总是伤感的，但却带来相聚的喜悦

There is much truth in these words. Yet it led me to think of the beauty there is in partings too. As our friends leave, we stop for a moment in our hectic lives to look back and think of the good times we spent together, the experiences that shaped our friendship. It was as they left that I found the time to think through the odd manner in which we came together and became friends in the first place. It is for these moments that we go through the confusing process of becoming friends yet we often forget them along the way.

I suppose there is no simple way to come to terms with all that we feel when a friend leaves. All we can do is try our best to keep in touch and cherish the times we have with them.

I see faces everywhere

As I was brushing my teeth yesterday, I stared at the tap in front of me. In it I saw a face. It had 2 eyes, one blue and one red, and a really long nose. The other day, as I was about to plug my charger into the socket, I stared at the empty socket. In it I saw a face. It had an eye, a nose and a weird looking mouth.

For the longest time ever, I have been staring at these faces. I wonder if you see them too.

days like these

And the days passed by, solemnly and silently. Before I could stop to ponder, take another look or make another  choice, it was gone. Days like these, I hate myself for being such a procrastinator. Days like these, I wonder if i’d ever achieve anything in life. Days like these, I’d curl up and lie in bed feeling sad. And whatever I do, yet another day slips by.

Vending machines that only accept coins

Right now, I’m just glad that when I stopped at cold storage today to buy some milk and bread, I didn’t have to try my best to collect as much loose change as I could. I think I should be grateful for this, as well as so many other things.

Diagonalizable matrices

Just the other day, I was looking through the stickes on my dashboard and discovered a link pertaining to my Math EE research. Some article discussing diagonalizable matrices. It’s nice having bits and pieces not only on my computer but around the house reminding me of the experience that IB was. The late nights spent working on my EE, drafts of my world lit that I scribbled all over. One of these days I shall have to pack all my IB things into boxes though. I wonder what all this will mean?

I DID NOT GRADUATE FROM THIS SCHOOL.

I was intending to write a longer post but I really had to make this announcement.

The students and teachers of the Anglo Chinese School (Independent)’s ambitious attempt to break the Guinness World Record for the most number of people performing the Bollywood Dance ...

I DID NOT GRADUATE FROM THIS SCHOOL. heh.

I like eating cutted fruit.

It’s been quite a while since I enlisted and I’ve since moved on from being a recruit on the island known to us as Pulau Tekong. I’ve only been here for a week and so far it seems a much nicer place. They give you more freedom. In spite of this however, we are all still essentially trainees and there are many things we’re not allowed to do. Of these restrictions, one of them is not being allowed to eat the cut fruit. Let me explain further.

In our new cookhouse we are no longer given fruits by the aunties or uncles behind the counter. Instead, we collect our fruits from this fridge in the cookhouse. I like this new system because it means we get chilled fruits! It also means we don’t have to collect the fruit and waste food if we run out of time to eat it. Most of the time the fridge is stocked with pears, oranges and plates of cut fruit. It’s too much of a bother to eat oranges without a knife (and enough time). We’re not allowed to touch the plates of cut fruit neatly wrapped in foil wrap either. There’s a label on the fridge stating the “cutted” fruit is only for warrant officers. This usually means I end up eating the pears. Everyday I walk past the fridge and take a pear. 6 days of eating pear however can have adverse effects.

I noticed it most clearly when I booked out this weekend. Being out of camp, I was able to turn up for this lunch buffet with my family. As I walked past the fruit table, I felt this sudden compulsion to eat fruits and ended up collecting a plate of cut papayas and oranges. It was fun, almost exciting, getting to eat what the warrant officers get to eat everyday. Odd, what army does to you.

Cheers everyone. Here’s to hoping all of us get to eat cut fruits next weekend.